This is going to be long...
First I guess you want to know what's going on between Hayden, Kenny, and I. Well, first off Kenny filed for joint custody. I was kind of upset because he was around Hayden everyday and it felt like he wanted to see Hayden less as he was going for every weekend and holidays. So I went to Legal Aid and she was able to help me out for a little bit. Said we should go to mediation and family consouling as you probably already know Kenny and I would argue ALOT. Also because I saw her 10 days before the original court date we had to adjourn the court date because time already passed for me to send in my response papers, which is pretty much me responding to Kenny's testimonies...
1. At times the Defendant denies me the right to see my child when I request to.
a. He sees him everyday unless he’s too drunk to get up. He also denies he said this and that he only said #3.
2. The Defendant will only allow me to visit with him is she is present and will not allow me to have visitation with him without her present.
a. When he was younger (than 9 – 12 months old), this statement would be true. But it no longer is – I’ve allowed him to take Hayden anywhere I approve, such as some of Kenny’s friends houses, West Trenton firehouse, and of course to his house. He also takes him to these places with out letting me know before hand (since he picks Hayden up from daycare everyday).
3. On numerous occasions, I have requested that I be able to take my son to visit with my relative, only to be denied the request.
a. This has only happened once, but he took Hayden to his sibling’s house anyway.
4. I am seeking that an Order for custody be established by the Court so that I know when I can see my son.
a. As stated in 1a, he sees Hayden everyday. I can provide proof that he sees Hayden at least 4 times a week with documents from his day care.
5. I further request that a holiday schedule be put into place.
a. From what I remember, we discussed that he may take Hayden to his house on major family holidays for dinner. I never had a problem with this because Hayden and I weren’t invited anywhere else.
6. …my visitation being on the weekends…
a. Seems to me he wants to spend less time with Hayden, although he does not have any other obligations, such as work. He will be starting vocational school in September, but that is at night. Hayden enjoys his father’s company after he gets picked up daycare, and this playtime helps me study, as I’m a full time student.
I don't know but I guess Kenny got mad at everything about that. I wrote this before on cafemom and if I never wrote it I wouldn't write it again LOL. On July 22, pretty much I told Kenny I was going to pick Hayden early from day care (oh yeah I forgot to mention I FINALLY got a new car! It's a bright blue [ugh] 98 Cavalier). He said okay and that he was going to go study then come over. I tried calling him around the time they usually get back to my house but his phone was off. I kept trying and I finally reached him and he said he was not coming over and told me to "be a parent". He didn't seem sober but I was pretty sure he wasn't drunk because he didn't have a lisp. So we argued and Hayden and I went to his house. His comes outside and starts screaming at me and I start crying and he's being mean and pushing and shoving me. So then his mom and uncle come outside and his uncle is just staring as always and the mom tells Kenny to get Hayden and to come inside so she can call the cops. They go inside and I go to leave and I say to his uncle "this is all your fault you promised you'd bring him over" and he smiles, pushes me to the ground and says he's going to bury me and my mom?!?! So then I leave and that's the last I've heard of them.
I wrote that for my FORMER lawyer (she decided she didn't want to take my case after all this restraining order BS). And now I can't have a lawyer because she worked for Legal Aid and I just don't have the money for a real attorney. Anyways, he filed for joint custody and at first I was worried about that because I really don't want Hayden at his house overnight because Kenny is a heavy drinker. Also, he got a restraining order on me by saying I tried to hit him and Hayden with my car! I tried everything I could to lift the order, or at least have it amended so Hayden and his DAY CARE (and a funny thing is that the director of the day care didn't even know! I had a friend go up there and talk to her and she said Miss Maria is going away for the weekend but to call her first thing Monday morning) are off the RO. I pleaded to the judge that he's only 15 m/o and he's delayed and in EI and has never been away from me overnight but the judge "didn't want to go against" the judge who granted the RO's wishes but WTF is the point of everything I did if that was going to happen! The only said he said I can do is call DYFS which I did but the lady who came to our houses said that if Kenny's house wasn't good Hayden would have to go into foster home and ugh! Thankfully I guess she approved. But after all of this I really don't even care if he wants the joint custody or not because not seeing (but at least being able to contact Hayden) for a weekend is SO MUCH better than not being able to do anything except wait for a court date 8 days after. I found a lawyer with a good price. Oh and on the 30th one of the judge's ladies called me and told me Kenny's lawyer had to adjourn (spelled right?) the hearing on the 31st to the 8th and WTF!! So I called up my lawyer who was able to get a phone conference between him and the judge and Kenny's lawyer which is kind of funny considering well how was he not able to be there but able for a phone? I don't know. My lawyer said the judge said to Kenny's lawyer to arrange for parenting time and also the date was changed again from the 8th to the 4th. I just want to see Hayden and I want everything back to the way it was 'cos Kenny was a life saver, here everyday and just helped out with my routine and it makes me less frustrated. After the RO hearing (8/4) the judge granted the FRO not because of what he alleged (there wasn't enough evidence) but because a legal dispute I got into with Kenny's friend Kev back in JANUARY! Also it said in the FRO that our lawyers are supposed to work out visitation (which they haven't) until a DYFS investigation is completed, then we go back to court for custody/visitation/??. I just wanted joint custody with Kenny like it was originally planned for.
Well it's been 47 days and I still have not seen Hayden. It's really killing me and nobody wants to help. My lawyer isn't and Kenny's lawyer just doesn't give a crap. I talk to the courts and DYFS and they all say there is nothing they can do. Like this is getting to be so much I just wanna
since obviously I have nothing left to live for. Sitting around all day doing nothing is not fun. I really don't know... life just fucking sucks now... I knew never to trust Kenny. The court system here in NJ is BULLSHIT!!! UGH!!
I spoke with my lawyer's paralegal and since Kenny's lawyer did finally send something but "Kenny" aka his mom apparently wants me to have court supervised visitation. Awesome, I really don't care where it is. I spoke with her on Friday so hopefully I will be able to see Hayden this coming week! This is really killing me and I miss him and Kenny so much and I really have no idea why Kenny did this shit, like yeah we were having really rough times but I kept telling him I wanted to work things out so we can be friends but obviously he hates me that much. I also found out he was cheating on me for like a year and he lied to the girl when I was pregnant in April (yeah for a third time. I should have kept it, I'd be like 30 weeks now). And you know what I really don't care about anything I really still care about him even though he has put me through more than hell. He and Hayden are and always and forever be my everything.
I started school a couple weeks ago. I am already failing. Enough said.
I work for Halloween again.
I've mostly been hanging out with Martene and that's about it. I miss Dana but I guess she doesn't wanna hang out with me 'cos she knows I shouldn't be smoking.
Oh and my grandpa finally died on the 21st.
Here are some videos and pictures from the past couple weeks...
From the show Martene, Lori, and Adam went to a couple weeks ago. They sound much better not live LOL... listen http://www.myspace.com/wheretheshadowslie
Thing from my grandpa's funeral
Hayden and Ra
The buccaneer/boat ride of terror. Seriously. We almost died and kept flying out of our seat.
Martene and I at the beach.
Took my eyebrow ring out if I didn't mention it before...